Occulomency notes that a TV talent show to find an "ordinary girl" to play Jade Goody in a musical based on her life is being planned.
Occulomency went into the centre of Nottingham this lunchtime to pick up his rather marvellous Sea-master from the reichswatchmenders (it now has full functionality).
Usually when Occulomency parks it is at the lowest extreme of the Victoria Centre car park, blue section, by the lifts that come out opposite Tesco. Today Occulomency decided to park at the the top-most extremity of the Fletcher Gate car park, and in a remarkable fit of heroism, travel from the 12th to the 2nd floor in an Otis elevator.
Occulomency descended but two floors before my journey into the depths of the underworld began. Three of Nottingham's finest entered the lift, a stout young lady in her early 20's, her father, presumably of around my age and her beloved boyfriend, a rat-like creature also around 20 years of age.
Their attire largely consisted of items that I presume TK Maxx and Primark were selling off at a bargain price, their jewellery and watches came directly from Argos, their shoes indicated a level of physical activity which the young lady's physique did not hint at.
They all had a vaguely unwashed scent attached to them, although as the journey continued that became less of an issue. The young gentleman belched, loudly. The young lady commented that it was rude, the gentleman commented that his indigestion was due to the poor quality of repast that his beloved prepared for him that morning. The father of the you lady commented that he had seemed quite content to eat this ante meridiem regalement.
The resultant conversation was punctuated by a remarkable smell which, if Occulomency's trained olfactory nerves are to be believed was due to one of the trio releasing flatus.
They left the elevator having an animated discussion regarding their shopping plans at the Broadmarsh Centre.
If the entertainment industry need to start their search for persons and vulgar, ghastly, stupid and impolite as possible to star in their search for a Goody in the Fletcher Gate car park.
Occulomency seeks relocation to Belgium at the earliest opportunity.
Ich hope zat zee Watch you haf ist now inst gute vorking ordrst.
Ve hast put our finest Raynerstien on the jobs.
Swiss watchez are ze best becuase zay are made wiz Nazi Golds.
Sanking Zee
Herr Raynerstein.
Posted by: The Peanut | Friday, April 24, 2009 at 04:03 PM
open auditions are already being held - it's called the Jeremy Kyle show.
Posted by: Rose | Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 11:16 PM