It's like Hoth out there.

I can't remember us having snow this early in December before. Does this mean we might actually get a white Christmas?

I read that the reason for this inclement weather is thanks to the dominance of high pressure bringing in air that's traveled from the bitter plains of Russia, delivering a biting wind and temperatures that struggle to get above freezing.

Now I have always welcomed foreign weather, but importing Russian weather into the UK just isn't working. The current open-door policy and unrestricted, uncontrolled weather is leading to higher crime rates, demand for more housing (driving prices out of the reach of young people), severe extra strain on the environment, traffic congestion, longer hospital waiting lists, lower educational standards, higher income taxes, lower wages, higher unemployment, loss of British identity, a breakdown in community spirit, more restrictive policing, higher council taxes, a shortage of council homes, higher levels of stress and unhappiness and a more atomised society. Put quite simply, it must stop.

We need to abolish the ‘positive discrimination’ schemes that have made British weather of long hot summers and cold crisp winters a thing of distant memory to most right thinking folk. We will also should clamp down on the flood of ‘asylum seeking weather’, much of which is either bogus or can find refuge much nearer it's home country.

I blame Michael Fish. Bastard.