I've just found out that Kenny Roger's Coward of the County, a charming country & western ballard which has as it's central plot-line a gang rape, made it to the number one slot in the UK in 1980.
How the hell did that happen? Was 1980 just a really bloody awful year in music?
I'll go down the list of number ones to find out, hang on...
Ah... I see the problem.
- Pretenders Brass in Pocket 19/01/1980 - Bloody good song, nothing controversial there. Still plays well after all these years.
- The Special A.K.A. feat. Rico The Special A.K.A. Live! 02/02/1980 - Bloody classic, amazing start to the decade, first The Pretenders, then this (it features too much, too young), awesomeness abounds.
- Kenny Rogers Coward of the County 16/02/1980 - Oh dear, gang rape and C&W.
- Blondie Atomic 01/03/1980 - Hmm, not as good as her earlier stuff, but still a bit good.
- Fern Kinney Together We Are Beautiful 15/03/1980 - Oh Christ. Squeaky pap.
- The Jam Going Underground/"Dreams of Children" 22/03/1980 - OK, back to some quality stuff now.
- Detroit Spinners Working My Way Back to You – Forgive Me Girl 12/04/1980 - Only purchased by the old and insane, moving on.
- Blondie Call Me 26/04/1980 - OK, pretty good, like it.
- Dexy's Midnight Runners Geno 03/05/1980 - Ah, now we are talking. Great stuff.
- Johnny Logan What's Another Year 17/05/1980 - Fuck. Irish Eurovision domination starts with this drivel.
- M*A*S*H Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless) 31/05/1980 - Sweet Jesus. Maudlin crap.
- Don McLean Crying 21/06/1980 - Was it a depressing summer? Maudlin crap.
- Olivia Newton-John and the Electric Light Orchestra Xanadu 12/07/1980 - Only good if you are a fan of irony overload. I am, so I like it,
- Odyssey Use It Up and Wear It Out 26/07/1980 - Nope, no clue.
- ABBA The Winner Takes It All 09/08/1980 - Boohoo, they all slept with each other's partners and then wrote songs about the legal wranglings that followed.
- David Bowie Ashes to Ashes 23/08/1980 - Happy Birthday DDddzzzzavid. Beyond brilliant.
- The Jam Start! 06/09/1980 - Woohoo! Not as good as DDddzzzzavid, but still....
- Kelly Marie Feels Like I'm in Love 13/09/1980 - Syndrums, this song had syndrums. That is all.
- The Police Don't Stand So Close to Me 27/09/1980 - One for the Gary Glitter fans, young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy. I believe the subtext is that he succumbs. Another name for the register. Great song though.
- Barbra Streisand Woman in Love 25/10/1980 - Kill me.
- Blondie The Tide Is High 15/11/1980 - Not the best, but OK.
- ABBA Super Trouper 29/11/1980 - Not The Nine O'Clock News did it better.
- John Lennon (Just Like) Starting Over 20/12/1980 - Life begins at 40. Well, not for him, obviously.
- St Winifred's School Choir There's No-one Quite Like Grandma 27/12/1980 - Genuinely awful.
So from this list of 24 songs, we can see that there are roughly 7 good songs, 5 OK songs, 7 which were pretty dismal, 3 which were appalling and 2 were Kenny Rogers & The St Winifred's School Choir.
So I guess 1980 wasn't too bad. I shall compare and contrast with another year and report back.
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