Occulomency

Happy Feast of the Circumcision of Our Lord*

Well, that was a fun packed year wasn't it? No one is more alive than I to the need to buttress the forces of virtue against the unprincipled elements of the jungle.

And today, as Paul Hewson said, all is quiet. Trouble is, how do we define New Year's Day? My favourite reference for January 1st is the above.

Now, the ancient Roman calendar had only ten months and started the year on 1 March, (which is why some the names of some months which derive from the Latin).

Anyways, in the seventh or eighth century, some bright spark added January and February, which is a bugger really as they are either too hot or too cold depending on where you are reading this from (I guarantee that you will not be comfortable outside, whichever).

In 45 BC, Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar, dropping the leap month that Numa Pompillus had added (Intercalaris). But 1 March continued to be the first day of the new year.

In the Middle Ages, significant Roman Catholic Holy days came to be used as the beginning of the year. Christmas Day (13th Century), Annunciation Day (25th March) up 'til 1752 when the Greater Britain adopted Circumcision Style (I'm really not kidding, it's what the Catholic Church called it) and January 1st became the day to have a hangover.

Happy new year to all of you. I hope to see you soon.

* In my case, Jeremy Clarkson.

Anna Daptor.....

The Top Gear Arctic adventure was wonderful wasn't it? Most amazing of all was that it was filmed in May this year, which indicates that the Hamster is indeed fixed, and is not a mental.

Decisions decisions.....

Hello everybody, in today's agony column, 'J' from Brisbane asks:

'we are now in the market (finally) for a new computer - so hoping our IT guru could point us in the right direction.  I may hear the screams from here, but what do you think of iMacs?  The ads are cute....  Otherwise, obviously you liked Dell - can you give us some clues as to what to buy??'

Well, that is a pretty pickle isn't it? I have to say iMac. You can dual boot them with Vista if you need to, so Windows compatibility isn't an issue. They are friendly, useful, secure etc...

In car terms, they are an Alpha Romeo. Stylish, improving in reliability, cool and very usable. Trouble is you can get far better value for money going for a windows PC, but in almost every measurable way, the Mac is a better computer. Go for a 20+ inch iMac. Your eyes will thank you.

Put it this way, when my Mum wanted a computer, I suggested a Mac for it's simplicity and bomb-proof security, and she loves it.

I've got my job application in. And I hear from Radiation Health that  they got one applicant for my job, and that person was not really suitable.

I'd apply but I don't think I meet the selection criteria....

Anyway Mr Darcy isn't the problem, it's the Slitheen you need to worry about.

Pugs

So it's been a few weeks since I said goodbye  to Elvis, and took over ownership of Eddie, the 206 GTi. For many years I drove  about in a 205 GTi, which was fast and great in a French way.

I seem to recall that I was involved in the purchase of my mum's first 205GTi, she had two and is currently blasting about Bridgford in a 106 GTi. Andrew had a Golf Gti 16V back in the eighties. We are a GTi family.

So, how have I adapted back to driving a hot-hatch, after driving the big turbo-charged Nissan. Well, quite well as it turns out.

Eddie has a 16-valve, two-litre engine. chucking out about twelvety hundred hosrepowers and a dogload of torques. It feels faster than the 200SX, even though I know its not in a straight line, but it's so quick of the mark, you've already proved your point by the time the turbo-boys have spooled up and are moving into hyperspace.

Then you get to the twisty bits, which is where the Eddie goes about redefining the laws of physics.

You sit quite low in half-leather drivers' seat, with a funky aluminium gearknob and pedals, and the other at the groovy white rev counter, it's hard not to drive Eddie like a complete lunatic.

When you floor the throttle, the  engine starts making very nice grunty noises, like that alien of Torchwood (yeah, saw it, loved it) and you find that you are changing gear with alarming frequency. When driving through the rain on the twisty road round our place, with lots of tight corners, you don't get that "So this is it, I'm going to die" Arthur Dent fatalism I used to get with the 200SX, or the old 205GTi.

This car grips. It handles beautifully, so much more balanced than the old 205 or the 200SX. The steering is akin to a go-kart.That's how it feels, every day I drive to work in a power assisted go-kart with a rocket up it's bottom.

Mind you, the interior plastics remind me of a rhino's bottom that's been spraypainted a dark brown colour, and the ergonomics are, well I assume that the French are a different shape to me. Maybe it's all the cheese.

 

Still.  All said and done, happy Fraser.

Rule 6

The IBM PC turns 25 tomorrow, happy birthday to it. I wonder if it'll still be the platform of choice in 2031?

Computers are fantastic, obviously. I remember when I first started radiography , so you get access to all of the radiology records of the whole county. Fantastic! So what does a young health-care professional do with this deeply sensitive and private information? Well I chose to mainly abused this power by looking up people with rude names.

There were a lot of people called Lillicrap, but my favourite was a Dr Lillicrap. The official title somehow made the rude surname seem all the more amusing, like a slightly scattalogical James Bond villain (so that's why he shut himself away in an undersea base and became a megalomaniac).

Actually, there used to be a bloke on telly called Christopher Lillicrap. Why not change it to Smith? I mean your never going to get famous with a name like Lillicrap. Brad Pitt was wise to change his name from Clive Shufflebottom for instance, and losing the Barnsley accent was a frickin' masterstroke.

Still, some people never learn. Lloyd Grossman still talks funny doesn't he?

Something to share....

Rhyming Slang

http://www.thelostplanet.net/WeirdAl/yourepitiful.mp3

Funny, except for the Halo 2 referance.

Hmmm.

Congratulations

Rose got a 2.1, so in celebration, here is a small picture of Cybermen.

You did good.

Jam Elmo

Witness evil.

Honestly, if I hear that squeaky little shit say "jam with Elmo" one more bloody time today I swear I will:

1. Go to Brisbane airport
2. Get on an aeroplane to Amerikee
3. Find Sesame Street in a street directory
4. Hire a taxi (or Hackney carrige)
5. Travel to Sesame Street
6. Hunt down Elmo
7. Jam that fecking guitar up his arse.

Does that come across as unreasonable? Does it?