Occulomency

Ferris Bueller's Day Off?

I got this from Digg.

Driving Miss Elvis

It's been an active few days on the driving about the country front. Wednesday took me on a 420 mile odyssey to Poole in Dorset, and thence for a quick meeting in a town called Westbury in Wiltshire. Now I had been to Westbury many years ago (for a wedding I think) but i had forgotten that, high above the town, carved into the chalk hillside is a quite magnificent white horse.

So anyway, my drive through the English countryside was really quite lovely. the weather was a lovely 25C, there was not a cloud in the sky and the roads were amazingly empty. I managed to stay off motorways for a good proportion of my journey and I had a marvellous time in general.

I came back via Trowbridge, which I hadn't been to in about 11 or 12 years. It's still extant, although the old Usher's brewery, tesco and cosmetic factory aren't.

Bradford upon Avon still ranks as one of the prettiest towns I've ever seen, but the narrowness of the main street and the level of traffic made my drive through a bit interesting.

Thursday I was in York, again a beautiful day for driving about. The level of greenery is incredible, and once out of the ubiquitous urban sprawl that characterises much of the UK now, it is a very pleasant place to visit.

Further reading: England and the Octopus - Clough Williams-Ellis - CPRE Press 1996 (originally London: Geoffrey Bles, 1928).

OK, I've held back long enough......

I'm not keen on Kerry Katona, Jordan and Jade Goody (amongst others).

They are all the most appallingly vulgar examples of everything I hold to be wrong with this sceptered isle that I am presently stuck in. 

I'll start with Jordan and her third favourite tit (Peter Andre). Presumably Jordan, when she was a teenager, dreamed of the day she would be famous for shagging the less talented Schumacher, turn orange, be common and make everyone hate her by doing really shit fly-on-the wall stuff for ITV3.

Well, Jordan tells us in this week's OK (which, let's be honest, isn't) that 'Big Boobs are so over'. She has had the bare faced cheek and effrontery to criticize another silicone inflated no-brainer from the shallow end (Chantelle Houghton, who I can't be bothered to hate, she is that useless).

The thing is, Chantelle has no personality of her own, so she tries to look like a more 'famous' person so she can get 'Papped' (which is apparently something to do with being photographed, not attacked by a rogue speculum). Well Chantelle had her breasts augmented, and Jordans not 'appy.

"All I can say is there is only one Jordan, and Jordan is not big breasted - that's old. I've created something new again!"

Well, apart from the obvious conceit of referring to herself in the third person, she is starting to sound a big like Doctor Frankenstein at this point. But fear not, Chantelle being the classy chick that she is (!) responded with a rapier like wit that Wilde himself would have been proud of.

"I'm just 'avin lots of fun it's wicked!"

Wow. I'm... Impressed...

But at least Kerry Katona has empathy with others.

Kerry (the fat junkie who was sacked from a band I've never heard of because I am not 12 and don't have ovaries) is so sad about Heath Ledger.

Well, so am I, so Kerry, what's your take on this tragedy? How will you provide succor and support to his grief stricken family?

"I read (surely not) that he wasn't sleeping very well. I've had insomnia and it's the worst thing."

Well frak me....